How to survive casual sexcapades

IUS Horizon

We are all adults here, right? So we can talk about “adult topics” without someone in the corner chuckling when I use the words penis or vagina.

So let’s talk about sex, baby.

As college students, we should talk about sex more and not avoid it like some taboo subject. For the most part, we all are having sex.

Of course there are still those few virgins in universities and kudos to you. You are a rare gem, and I respect you.

But for the rest of us, let us converse for a bit.

According to a study published in the Review of General Psychology in 2012, more collegiate students are “hooking up” instead of the more traditional dating.

While the actual phrase “hooking up” is a little vague we can take it to mean some sort of sexual encounter, whether heterosexual, homosexual, oral, anal or vaginal.

Now, I’m sure there are still gentlemen out there who prefer to court a lady rather than take her home and have sex, but it appears to not be the norm.

Let me start with a little disclaimer.

In no way do I claim to be a “sexpert.” I am no Carrie Bradshaw, I am just your sexual liaison, here to provide you with some useful tips and tricks on maneuvering your way through the sexual world.

 

KEEP IT CLEAN

 

Life is sexy, so let’s keep it that way, guys.

The absolute least sexy thing is contracting a sexually transmitted disease from unprotected sex. Nothing will kill the mood faster than saying, “No, I can’t tonight, I’m having another herpes outbreak.”

So use protection – again, this goes for any kind of sex regardless of gender preference.

Contraception is widely available to you—so use it, condoms, birth control pills, dental dams, whichever you so prefer.

But remember ladies, while birth control is great for holding off motherhood for however long you please, it will not protect you from contracting genital warts or any other STD – which to me, is just as bad, if not worse, than an unwanted pregnancy.

Do not be afraid to talk to your sexual partner about these things either.While I don’t suggest carrying around your last STD check-up in laminated form in your wallet, it would not hurt.

Plus, not telling your partner that you have an STD can result in criminal charges or a civil lawsuit. An HIV-positive man in New York was sentenced to a year in jail after being charged with reckless endangerment for knowingly infecting five women with the virus from unprotected sex.

Ain’t nobody got time for that. So be honest, and do not be afraid to ask. If you are having sex with someone, you should be past the part of not being able to have this somewhat awkward conversation.

 

KEEP IT CAS

 

So now that we have safety out of the way, let’s move on to the more important stuff – the sex [sexy times, the big bang, boner city.]

For those of you looking for sexy times without being in a relationship, I suggest partnering up with someone you know or somewhat know, rather than a complete stranger.

This does not have to be limited to the only other single person in your group of friends, but perhaps a friend of a friend, maybe a coworker – although that, too, can get messy quickly.

I do not suggest taking home some complete rando from the bar who compliments your eyes and buys you a drink while staring at your chest, but if that is your thang, just be careful.

Casual sex is not an unnatural thing, and it does not have to be awkward between the two exchanging pleasantries.

It has many perks, the biggest being you have someone who is just fine with having sex with you and not worrying about “if we are Facebook official.” (By the way—can we all quit measuring relationships by a drop-box of options on social media outlets?)

Which brings me to the next issue – establishing boundaries.

 

KEEP IT SIMPLE

 

While rom-coms often depict love blossoming from a one-night stand or  between two friends playing out a “friends with benefits” scenario, those things generally will not happen.

By setting boundaries right away, you eliminate the awkward conversation later where you have to re-establish that you are “just friends.”

So be up front.

Spare that awkward conversation the next morning when you want to leave, but you really don’t know how to say, “Thanks for the sex, see you next time,” without sounding like a dick.

Just establish whether this will be a simply sexual thing, or if it is something that could potentially lead to a relationship.

You could even coordinate schedules and mark your iPhone calendar for the next hookup if that helps square things away.

The most important thing about casual sex is to keep as uncomplicated as possible.

 

By HANNA WOODS

Senior Editor

hrwoods@umail.iu.edu